The Importance of Time
It is very real and more than just a measurement tool...
I try to stay positive but it feels so incredibly challenging when one thing after the other is just collapsing. What is right for me? when I am in it, I know and appreciate what I have, confident that it will stick. But some things are just totally out of my control. No matter how much I can work at them. When it is something I am sure of and determined to care for and develop a special relationship with, the universe takes it back from me. Leaving me in an abyss where I am again, questioning what I did wrong. Yet, at the forefront on my mind, I know that there was nothing I did wrong. No one came to me if there was ever a problem. So in that case I am to believe that it is on the other end. When things are abruptly taken from you- you can not expect that it is your fault. It’s not me, but them.
Reminding myself: never take anything personally.
I feel like I should also stop questioning other’s actions. I never know or will understand why people do and say the things they do. Why waste my time and energy is deciphering any detail. Pin pointing things to give me a possible explanation. I wont have an answer for fact. You can’t read minds!
What I have realized, this stems from the view I have, but putting a spin on it: Life is full of learning lessons. You are constantly evolving and changing. I do not mean that I am actively seeking out people or work to create changes in order to teach me things. That is not what I am saying. The experiences we have are always moulding us, possibly making change, if you shall let it be. I do not wish to be always stagnant and I hope for this too with all the people I have in my life currently and in the past.
On a deeper level, I am ~starting~ to realize how special time can be. How precious it can be and as cliché as it is- time is all we really have. As you get older, it just seems to zoom right past you, quicker than the previous year. So if anyone lets you have a moment of their time, be appreciative and cherish it.
Do not go overtly being sappy about it though. That is a bit much and strange. But you know, whenever you do recognize something that is making you feel good, share your thoughts.
This comes from right after seeing a movie last night starring Aubrey Plaza, called My Old Ass. It was a film I was interested in seeing at Sundance this year, but didn’t. In hindsight, I think it was better, serendipitous in some sense, that I saw it until now. After all that has happened this far. After all that I have talked about with my therapist, the realizations I had, the things I have to accept and am actively accepting. This movie is solidifying so many of my beliefs that I strived at to have be part of me.
Yes, life can be filled with so many obstructions and challenges. It is complex, times could be smooth sailing, while there could be choppy waters up ahead. The way you can realize this and continue to go on, taking life head on and accepting what enters your life, is so important. If your older self told you to go down this other path or avoid a certain person, that is not fair or right to your younger self. Life is painful at times, but it is the lessons and experiences that you gain from it that you should cherish. You are alive to feel arrange of emotions. You are alive to spend time, any amount of time with somebody or some places.
I remind myself to take things as they come. To obey people’s wishes. To be gentle to myself with my thoughts. To appreciate every single member of my family- despite at times it can be tough because of our differences.
Every person on this earth is living for the first time.
They were once a little kid with an ecstatic outlook on life.
Every person on this Earth is living for the first time.
I thank everyone for the moments we had together, no matter the length of time. Thank you for the time.
Now For Some of My Favorites ATM:
My Old Ass (2024) By Megan Park
The movie I referenced in this post. Starring Maisy Stella and Aubrey Plaza. It tells the story about a young version of Elliot and her life at 18, but getting the very unusual chance, thanks to the help from an organic substance, to speak to her 39 year old self. Themes of family dynamics, love, and life plans arise. It is currently in theaters everywhere.
You can read my letterboxd review and see what rating I gave it if interested.
Much Ado About Nothing - Waxahatchee
I will admit has been a minute since I listened to waxahatchee. A big fat minute because I used to like her in high school and that is creepin up on close to a DECADE….yikes! Something about her voice I just love so much. This is her newest track, realized just last Friday.
Spooky Bologna - Spoiled Rat
I’ve been following this St. Pete band for a few years now and I am surprised I have never mentioned them on Greter before. This past week I’ve just been needing loud music, which means I am going back to my high school self and listening to the Riot Grrrl bands I loved at that time. While Spoiled Rat is a group that started in recent years, they have rightfully earned a spot for me with all the big alt punk bands.
Thank you my wonderful readers for coming back to this week’s post. If you are new I am so glad you made it. I try to publish every week. I hope your week was good. Remember to drink water, tie your shoes, and be gentle to yourself in your thoughts. Love ya!